My cousin Danielle went to see The Gates a couple weeks ago, and she later confided, “I’m glad I saw them because they’re such a big deal, but to be honest I really don’t get it!”

I’m glad she said that because she’s my cousin and it’s good for me to get along with her. See, I decided I only get along with people who don’t get them. Those people who say, “Oh, they’re beautiful, this art is so amazing,” are not people I can communicate with very well. They’re like people who’ve never seen Star Wars; we have little common ground.

I think only real New Yorkers think they’re beautiful. And that’s prob’ly because it’s been a long time since they’ve seen, for instance, a bright orange sunset, which–on the scale of beauty of bright orange things–is a lot higher than bright orange fabric on bright orange steel.

Oh, sorry, I meant saffron, not orange.

While walking down Third Avenue, I picked up a menu from a Mexican restaurant called Samalita’s of California. I was all excited. Could it really be just like the Mexican restaurants back home?

First thing I always look for is the chicken quesadilla because it’s my favorite. They had two quesadillas on the menu:

Quesadillas
Corn Tortillas with Monterey Jack Cheese
Original Cheese – $4.75
Picadillo or Chorizo con Papas – $5.25

What the fuck? They don’t have a chicken quesadilla or a beef quesadilla, but they have a chorizo con papas quesadilla? Who orders that? And as if that’s not bad enough, they put both quesadillas on corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas.

Mexican food is so simple. It constantly amazes me when I see the great lengths to which Mexican restaurants in New York will go to screw it up.

I originally thought the chorus of “Bandages” by Hot Hot Heat was, “blame the jews, blame the jews, blame the jews.” Perhaps I was just paranoid.

Ashleigh’s version was better, though. Apparently she thought he said, “Band of juice, band of juice, band of juice,” which makes even less sense (but, I admit, sounds more like “bandages”).

What did you think he was saying?

Quite often I’m inspired to write an entry while I’m in the restroom. (You can search the site for the word “toilet” to see what I mean.)

Today, however, I wasn’t.

There’s one thing they say about lotteries: If you never enter, you’ll definitely never win.

I’m sure there are actually many more things that they say about lotteries, now that I reread that first sentence. Still, it sounds better that way, so I’m leaving it alone.

I need to start walking down to Avenue Q (er… 45th Street) every evening after work to enter the student rush ticket lottery. I want to see it again, and Ashleigh wants to see it for the first time. However, I keep putting it off because it’s annoying to walk down there, enter the lottery, stand around for half an hour waiting, and then lose. But really, if I never enter, I’ll never win.

This month might be a good time to try anyway, since April and May will bring spring break crowds to the city. I think it’ll be best to go on a Tuesday or a Wednesday, and preferably when it’s raining, snowing, or at least really cold. Of course, if I have to walk down there against the wind, enter the lottery, stand in the freezing rain for half an hour, and then lose… it’ll really suck to be me.

I’ve got eight winning Diet Pepsi bottle caps so far, but the cafeteria downstairs has run out of Diet Pepsi. Now I’m stuck drinking Diet Mountain Dew because a) I won’t drink regular Pepsi, and 2) Mountain Dew also has the iTunes promotion. I’m not a big fan of the Dew, though. If you’re going to have a caffeinated soda, it needs to taste like cola, and it needs to not look like extra-terrestrial urine.

This past weekend I was back in California for my grandpa’s eightieth birthday party, and I managed to visit many of the restaurants I miss. I ate at Del Taco, In-N-Out, El Torito Grill, Cafe Pascal, Claim Jumper, BJ’s, and Harbor House. If you’re in California, I highly recommend that you enjoy these places while you have access to them. I haven’t found better tacos, grilled cheese sandwiches, tortillas, quiche or crepes, potato cheddar soup, dessert, or milkshakes since I moved to New York.

For those of us without a car, the “Driving Directions” feature on MapQuest or Yahoo is ineffective. Thank goodness someone came up with HopStop, which lets you find subway/bus/walking directions.