Amanda, Allison, Traci, and I decided that the statues at Plaza el Paseo needed to have some fun. We happened to have some inflatable instruments and microphones from Amanda’s brother’s bar mitzvah, so we forced the statues to join our rock band… er, bronze band.

Click for more pictures.

Click for more pictures.

1:58 pm Photos, Pranks Comments Off on Rock Band Statues

Amie and I stalked Amanda and Amanda at Fry’s yesterday. We knew they were at Fry’s because they got lost several times and called me twice to ask for directions.

So Amie and I crept through the aisles Mission-Impossible-style, and we finally found them near the video accessories. We hid behind a pile of VCRs and pretended to be comparing the [exactly-the-same] boxes as employees walked by.

“Oh, I like this color,” Amie chimed in, crouched behind the pile of identical boxes.

“This one feels good,” I added, lifting a box slightly off the pile.

Then we raced over to the cell phone accessory aisle so we could have a side view of our prey. Of course, soon after we entered the cell phone accessory aisle, Amanda and Amanda walked down the very same aisle.

So Amie and I stood with our faces buried in the car power adapters, laughed way too loudly, and proclaimed our love for various adapters. Eventually the Amandas noticed us, and the game was sadly over.

Last night, Matt, Danny, Chelsey, and I were putting together a bulletin board for the boys’ house covered with just pictures of our friend Kyle being an idiot. Kyle is a senior at Woodbridge High School, and he’s really popular, and all the girls want to do him, etc. Normally the bulletin boards are full of various pictures from parties or vacations, but we noticed that we had enough crazy pictures of Kyle to mandate giving him his own board.

Well, Kyle found out that we were making a board for him (because Matt can’t keep a secret), and he was really flattered (as he should have been). However, we decided it wasn’t as much fun if he knew about it and was flattered, so we also had to do something not so flattering.

We took some of the most embarrassing pictures off the board and took them to Kinko’s, and we each pitched in some money. We made three hundred copies. Then we drove to Woodbridge and taped up all three hundred copies all over campus. Our flyer included Kyle straddling a wooden horse, Kyle crossing his eyes, Kyle standing on his head, Kyle in his gay Peter Pan costume (which had a bare midriff because the shirt was too small), Kyle dressed as Mary Poppins, Kyle with Pirouette cookies up his nose, and Kyle holding up a Pirouette cookie at crotch level and pretending it’s his penis.

Then we went to his house and put a few of them on his car. So this morning he’ll think, “Ha ha, nice prank,” and then he’ll get to school and think, “Holy shit.”

Last night was long and full of adventures.

After the show, we had our official cast party at the Depot. It included a great deal of crappy food, so I just had a Diet Coke and some cream puffs. Heather informed me that she really liked my jeans. I asked if she wanted to borrow them sometime, and she said yes. Then I asked if she wanted to go trade pants, and she agreed to that wholeheartedly. So we went into the Amtrak and traded pants, after which her ass looked very hot and I looked very ridiculous. Eventually it got old, and we traded back.

Heather gave me her keys to hold at some point (which is generally a bad idea). I took her car key off the ring and discreetly handed it to Sammi. I asked Sammi to give it to John and have him do something (anything) to Heather’s car. Then I stayed within Heather’s sight at all times and audibly played with her keys so she wouldn’t notice that anything was amiss. A while later John walked up to me, and I took the car key back from him and put it back on Heather’s key ring.

The cast party eventually became boring around eight o’clock, and we decided to figure out what was next. My suggestion was Harbor House in Dana Point because no one else had ever been there. They’d been to the one in Sunset Beach, but not Dana Point.

So we caravanned to 840 to drop off some cars. Heather never said anything about her car, so I asked John what he did to it. He informed me that he didn’t do anything; he thought Sammi had done something and that he was simply supposed to return the key to me. So yeah, Heather got off easily. Anyway, we carpooled in two cars to Harbor House in Dana Point. John, Colin, Kyle, and Heather rode in Sammi’s car, and Donald, David, Danny, and I rode in Chelsey’s car.

Trenton and Jill joined us later at Harbor House, bringing our total to twelve. Our waiter was Guillermo, and he was extremely polite (especially compared to most Harbor House employees) and spoke several languages. We really liked him. He called everyone “friend,” and responded to our thank yous with “it is my pleasure.”

Apparently Harbor House didn’t pay their electric bill, though, as just before we left, the power went out in the restaurant. I don’t think any of us had ever experienced something like that before, and I’m pretty sure the employees hadn’t either. They were walking around holding up lighters to try and illuminate the place. Fortunately we were all paying cash, so we were able to pay the bill and leave. We included a really fat tip for Guillermo because we liked him so much. Just as we were leaving, the power came back on, so they didn’t have to walk around with lighters for too long.

I decided to teach everyone about the clever placement of the two Harbor Houses, explaining that Golden Lantern practically turns into Anderson, so both Harbor Houses are basically at the same intersection in two different cities. “What’s the other street?” asked John jokingly. “It’s PCH,” Heather answered brightly.

Jill went home after Harbor House, but the rest of us (now in three cars because Trenton had joined us) decided to visit Main Beach because I informed them that it was open past ten o’clock. Chelsey (who is twenty) had ordered a couple of beers at Harbor House, so she let me drive her car for the rest of the evening. We drove our three cars up PCH and parked near Main Beach.

For a while, we just messed around on the beach. Some of the group had blow-pops (thanks to Jenn, who brought them to the show as a gift). The boys found a large crevice that looked like a vagina and played with it for a while. Meanwhile, Heather and I went to Diedrich because the sound of waves made her want to pee. I ordered an iced coffee while she used the facilities, and then we walked back to the beach to join our friends.

Donald and Danny had picked up Chelsey and were threatening to throw her in the ocean, and when they finally put her down, she freaked out because her phone was no longer in her pocket. She made us all start looking, but when she turned away, Danny held her phone (which he had taken) up in the air and showed it to the rest of us. After a couple more minutes of “looking,” Danny suggested that he should call Chelsey’s phone to see if we could hear it ring. He pulled Chelsey’s phone out of his pocket, right in front of her, and dialed her number. It rang a few times, and we all stood there watching, wondering when Chelsey would notice that “Danny’s phone” suddenly looked just like her phone. Finally she caught on, and she got her phone back.

As we were laughing at Chelsey, we noticed a large man with long hair and a purpose approaching us. His name was Pascha, and he was most definitely on drugs or schizophrenic. He got right in our faces and demanded a cigarette, but all we had were blow-pops. He made fun of us for having “lollipops” instead of cigarettes, and he called us “the lollipop guild.” He was very scary, and he had a habit of walking up to people as though he was planning to plow directly through them. There were eleven of us and only one of him, but I’m pretty sure we were outnumbered.

He wouldn’t leave us alone, so we eventually left that part of the beach and walked up toward the Laguna Inn to get away from the crazy Pascha. We took the walkway that goes past the hotel and then walked down the stairs to another part of the beach. It was low tide, so there was actually beach there instead of just rocks. Danny told us a “scary” story about being at a similar beach in Santa Barbara and seeing a woman in a white gown standing on the rocks. It was extremely dark, so we didn’t stay very long because we were concerned about encountering more Paschas.

On our way back to our cars, we briefly encountered Pascha again. He informed us that Satan is bad, and we were very grateful.

Next, Sammi’s car and Trenton’s car followed my car up to Top of the World. I even took Third Street so they could experience the unbelievably steep hill. We stood on a cement bench at Top of the World for a long time, looking out at the lights of Aliso Viejo and Laguna Hills below us (to the northeast). “We should really call someone,” Danny suggested. He took out his phone and dialed, and then he asked us all to say “Hi dipshit!” into the phone. We complied, and he informed us afterward that we had just left a message for our friend Matt.

Heather went to Sammi’s car to get her phone, and Danny informed us that the message was actually for Heather (who had therefore called herself a dipshit), not for Matt. We all found that very amusing, and when Heather returned with her cell phone, she reported, “The dipshit message was for me! It wasn’t really for Matt! Danny called my phone instead!”

At some point, everyone got really quiet while looking out over the city. I told them a “scary” story about being at a similar hill in Santa Barbara and seeing a woman in a white gown standing on the rocks.

When we’d had enough nature, we drove our three cars back toward 840. The people in my car raved about what an exciting adventure we’d had, and I secretly gloated because I had suggested every single thing we had done that evening. It made me really proud, knowing that I had introduced almost a dozen people to new places and new experiences in one evening.

Back at 840, we watched John’s home video of the show. I had refused to watch it while the show was still in progress (because seeing myself would have made me self-conscious when performing), so I was excited to finally see it. I’m normally very critical of all shows, including my own, but our show really was enjoyable. It was also a great way to end an eventful closing night cast party. The video ended around two o’clock, and I said my goodbyes and headed home to write in my journal.

10:22 am Pranks Comments Off on The Lollipop Guild

Last night during the show, Chelsey’s car sprouted a “Jesus Loves Me” license plate frame, thanks to Heather, some stage crew people (who had the right kind of screwdriver), and me. And when she started her car after the show, she got to hear children’s songs about Jesus blasting on her car stereo. I think she was very excited about all of this.

10:53 am Pranks Comments Off on Jesus Loves Chelsey

In John’s house (which I generally refer to as “840”), there’s a small bookshelf above the television which contains nothing but the thirty or so books written by his father.

So when Chelsey and I were at the Holy Family Fair on Sunday with all our friends from Anything Goes, we bought a random hardcover book called Because It Is Bitter, and Because It Is My Heart for twenty-five cents. We hid it from John all evening at the Fair, and then later when he was gone, we signed it: “To John and Carrie, Happy Bar Mitzvah! Mazel Tov! Love, David and Chelsey.”

Then we placed it on the shelf among John’s father’s books, and now we’ll wait to see how long it takes him to notice.

11:59 am Pranks Comments Off on “One of These Things Is Not Like the Others…”

Last night, Amanda, Deirdre, Monica, and I successfully delivered a large package of toilet paper to the front porch of the other Amanda, along with a note that said:

Do it yourself.

The Lazy Toilet-Paperers

It’s a Friday night and I’m home alone with nothing to do.

So… inspired by Traci, because I was bored but wanted to get out of the house, I randomly drove up PCH to Huntington Harbor, and then I drove back on MacFadden. It was aimless. Then I decided to go looking for treasures at TJ Maxx & More here in Costa Mesa, so I spent about an hour browsing there. The clothing there isn’t very exciting, but they have a huge section of “Home Fashion” which is a bunch of large, gawdy, tacky knick-knacks, like ship helms, cow figurines, frog statues, boxes that look like books, African masks, etc. It would be a fun place to get a really useless gift.

Then I went home, and Traci called, and we talked for a few minutes. And then Stephanie, finally back from visiting her sugar-daddy– er, I mean, her friend– in Venice, came over and we went to Regatta for dinner. My friend Amy Rose (who’s in Pirates with me) was working, and it was fun talking to her and watching her sing.

After that Steph and I were supposed to go to Ruby’s to visit Amie and get dessert, but Steph decided she had too much homework to do, so she went straight home.

So now I’m home alone again, but Amie gets off work at 11pm and then she and I are planning to go cause mischief in West Orange County. We bought a rosary-shaped air freshener the other night (it’s seriously an air freshener cross on a string of air freshener beads), and we’re going to go hang it in Jonathan’s car.

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