Yesterday morning, ants invaded my car. I counter-attacked with Pine-Scented Raid, and now my car smells like (no, not pine) Raid. So I left the windows open all day yesterday and all night last night, but I can still smell it. Every time I drive the car now, I get all woozy and my eyes water a whole lot.

I’m not sure how or why they did it. It seems like they had to climb up the tires, climb through the wheels and onto the axle, climb up through the drivetrain, and so forth. Remember, they’re ants. They can’t jump. They just crawl. That seems like a lot of effort, especially considering that there wasn’t anything remotely interesting (to an ant) inside the car. There wasn’t any food anywhere. There might have been an empty soda can in the trash, but the ants weren’t even near there. They were mostly on the inside of the door jams. Stupid ants.

My boss said that’s what I get for driving a “bug.”