This morning I had coffee, so I was hyper. As a result, I emailed my ex-girlfriends.

I emailed Emily to ask her what’s up and if she wants to hang out sometime next week. We usually go for coffee once every two years, and I think it’s about time. She’s really fun to sit and talk to because she has something interesting to say about every topic imaginable. She’s also an eloquent speaker, so it’s enjoyable just to listen to her speak. Actually, I asked if she wants to go thrift store shopping in Long Beach instead of just getting coffee. She always finds the coolest stuff. I’d love to get back into that. I mean, it makes sense to pay $5 for a real vintage t-shirt instead of $25 for a designer “vintage” t-shirt.

Then I emailed Lindsay to ask her why the heck she was in San Jose last weekend. I know she wasn’t visiting Traci, but I can’t imagine why else anyone would want to go to San Jose. It’s sad, because Lindsay totally missed her chance to hang out with me. I was going to stop in Santa Barbara on my way back from San Jose, but she wasn’t there. She was in San Jose. Stupid Lindsay. Now she’ll have to drive down to L.A. if she wants to hang out with me.

I also emailed Claire. I didn’t actually say anything in the email. I just sent her this graphic.