So Amanda and I were at the Spectrum with her friend Amanda, and we were talking about what code we could use to refer to a girl with her fat stomach sticking out of her too-small shirt. Amanda’s friend Amanda suggested that we just say, “Fatty McFat-Fat” or “Look at that fatty with her fat fat sticking out of her fatty shirt.” She’s not into subtlety. I wanted to use something more like “the ground beef is leaving the sausage” or something that just hints at the idea without giving it away.

Anyway, then I had to leave because I needed to go home and move my laundry. When I had accomplished this, I messaged Amanda and simply said, “The laundry is out of the dryer.”

So yeah, that’s the code.

There’s going to be a brand new Krispy Kreme just a few blocks from work.

The new location will officially be the closest to both my office and my home. I will no longer need to trek all the way to Orange or Laguna Hills for the sinful goodness of Krispy Kreme; it’ll be just down the street.

And to boot, there’s an In-n-Out on the same corner. It’ll officially be the tastiest, highest-calorie corner in town. Now all they need is a Starbucks, and they’ll be satisfying all of my cravings.