A recent outing at Starbucks gave me insight into the nature of coolness.

I went to starbucks with three other people. We got our drinks and sat down in the big, comfy chairs. I brought in my laptop because I needed to do some work, but after trying for a few minutes, I realized that the wireless connection in this particular Starbucks wasn’t strong enough to work if I was seated in the front of the store.

I promptly moved my hazelnut latte and my laptop to another table further back in the store, near the queue. This is when the coolness began. Because my friends were in the front of the store and I was in the rear, they kept coming over and saying things to me and then returning to the front of the store. To the customers in line, it looked as though I had come alone but that a lot of people who came into the store knew me. This gave me an ora of coolness.

Mike came over and kissed me on the forehead and told me he was leaving. Amanda walked by me on her way to the restroom and said, “Hey, stop checking me out,” and then laughed. And each time something like this happened, the customers in line saw me as almost a celebrity. It must have looked as though I (and my friends in the front of the store) were regulars who came in all the time. After all, if we happened to be there at the same time but in separate groups, the logical conclusion was that we must be there quite often and that this was a coincidental meeting.

So if you want to be cool, or more specifically if you want to “take over” a hangout and make it your own, the trick is to split up into groups and sit separately. Your imminent movement around the store and interaction with “other groups” will make you seem cool to those who don’t know you.

Of course, those who do know you will still know you’re uncool. I’ll have to figure out a solution for that one later.