It’s theatre appreciation week here in the world of me.

Last Thursday I went to the final dress rehearsal of Gypsy at APA. It was actually pretty good for a high school show. Katherine was believable as “Louise” and not as annoyingly peppy as usual, and Kellie was amazing as “Mama Rose.” I mean, that girl’s pinky knows more about acting than anyone at APA. The rest of the leads were okay. They weren’t bad like I expected them to be. And Rachel stood out among the three main strippers because of her skills using the light-up hearts on her costume. It was definitely a dress rehearsal, though, considering that the lighting in the show managed to set off the fire alarm in the auditorium halfway through Act I.

Friday night I went to see IVC’s latest disaster, The Good Woman of Setzuan. The show included paper shadow puppets on an overhead projector. Need I say more? It’s one of Ron’s drug-induced ideas: taking a Brecht play (which is bad to start), turning it into a musical, and adding puppets. It’s a great recipe for failure. A few people were noticeably good despite the horrible script and direction of the show, though. Stan (Good Stan), as always, was hilarious in his small role as a god and as “Grandfather.” He’s one of those people who doesn’t have to do anything special to be funny; he just has to be himself. I mean that as a compliment. Paul also did a good job adding excitement to an otherwise boring show, and Theresa (who’s come a long way since playing “Tourist #4” in Guys and Dolls) had several very believable monologues. I was very proud of her. Also worth mentioning was a girl named So

Well, I might as well jump on the bandwagon and post a survey just like Maile and Traci did. It seems to be the cool thing to do. So let me go find a survey to take… ah! Here’s one:

1. Does this question sound familiar?
   No.
2. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes.
3. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes.
4. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes.
5. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes.
6. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes!
7. Does this question sound familiar?
   YES!!!!
8. Does this question sound familiar?
   Yes, already!
9. Does this question sound familiar?
   For God’s sake, YES!
10. Does this question sound familiar?
    Listen, I already answered this question. The answer is still YES.
11. Does this question sound familiar?
    Stupid survey. Yes!
12. Does this question sound familiar?
    Arrrgh!
13. Does this question sound familiar?
    I’m tired of typing “Yes.”
14. Does this question sound familiar?
    Ehrn.
15. Does this question sound familiar?
    Listen, retard, what kind of a dumb survey is this anyway?
16. Does this question sound familiar?
    I’m not answering.
17. Does this question sound familiar?
    Nope.
18. Does this question sound familiar?
    Not at all.
19. Does this question sound familiar?
    Listen, if you’re just going to ask me the same question over and over again, I’m going to stop taking this survey!
20. Does this question sound familiar?
    Yes.
21. Does this question sound familiar?
    I swear, I’ll stop.
22. Does this question sound familiar?
    So… frustrating…
23. Does this question sound familiar?
    YES!!! It’s the SAME FUCKING QUESTION!!!!
24. Does this question sound familiar?
    AHHHHH!!!!!
25. Does this question sound familiar?
    STOP IT!!!!
26. Does this question sound familiar?
    Please stop it?
27. Does this question sound familiar?
    Please. Come on. It’s not funny anymore.
28. Does this question sound familiar?
    Yes.
29. Does this question sound familiar?
    Yes.
30. Does this question sound familiar?
    yEs.
31. Does this question sound familiar?
    yeS.
32. Does this question sound familiar?
    yes!
33. Does this question sound familiar?
    Yes.
34. Does this question sound familiar?
    Fuck you. Forget it. That’s the last time I try to take a survey.
35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
    Nope, it’s too late. I’m not answering.
36. Why not?
    Because you’re an ANNOYING BITCH, that’s why not!
37. Are you a bitch?
    No.
38. Do you have a crush?
    Go away.
39. Can I ask just one more question?
    Okay, sure.
40. Hold on, I’m thinking of a really good one…
    Arrrgh! Hurry up!
41. What color pants are you wearing right now?
    Gray.

You know how people say that when you go onstage, it’s a lot easier if you imagine that the entire audience is naked? Well, that’s kind of how I feel about life.

I auditioned for Pirates of Penzance last Monday, and they asked me to learn two verses of “Modern Major-General” for the callbacks this coming Monday.

That’s fine and all, except that I really don’t want the part. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great part, but my friend T.J. is also called back for it, and he’s perfect for it. I really want him to get it, not me, and I’m sure he will. So it seems like kind of a waste of time for me to learn this ridiculously wordy song for the callbacks.

Oh well. I guess it’ll give me a little something extra to do for the auditors, so they’ll see more of me. And that’s always a good thing.

Ever since Winter Solstice, Claire has been making fun of Amie and me for wearing bowling shoes. We bought them at JCPenney for $20, and they say “Rental” on the side, which is the best part. We thought they were cool, but she just said they were ugly and stupid. So yeah, this week Claire apparently went and spent $42 on Kenneth Cole bowling shoes. Who’s stupid now?

Okay, let’s say you do two things:

1. You build a house.
2. You draw a picture of a dog.

And then let’s say people congratulate you on your beautiful picture of a dog. “Oh, you draw so well!” they say. Wouldn’t that upset you?

Yeah, so I’m onstage in A Chorus Line for the first five minutes. All I do is dance with everyone else and then I get cut. That’s it. Frankly, if you noticed me, you weren’t paying attention to the show.

Then I go offstage, change into all black, and become a member of stage crew. The bulk of my responsibility in this show is backstage. I’m responsible for presetting the mirror wagons before the show, collecting the hats used in “One,” setting the mirror wagons in the wings during intermission, pulling the rehearsal bags offstage when they disappear, moving one of the mirror wagons onstage in “Music and the Mirror,” striking the mirror wagons afterward so that no one trips on them, doing costume tech for “Bows,” singing into a backstage microphone for all of the chorus numbers, presetting for the next show after the audience is gone, and doing anything else that needs to be done backstage during, before, or after the show. Our stage manager is more of a mirror-turner than a stage manager, so I usually fulfill many of her duties. I problem-solve during the show.

So naturally, I really don’t take it seriously when people compliment me for doing such a “great job” as a cut dancer. Obviously they don’t know what I’m doing backstage, but frankly, I’d prefer if they didn’t even notice that I was in the show, because telling me I drew a pretty picture of a dog despite the fact that I also built a house is, well, insulting.

I’m expecting a big, fat refund from the IRS this year. However, I can’t file my return until I get my W-2 and 1099 forms. I’m ready to file my return now, but the forms won’t arrive for at least another week, and it’s frustrating. I want my money, dammit!

Instead of wearing dance shoes in A Chorus Line, the costumer has asked me to wear red sneakers. Of course, the show takes place around 1975, so they have to be authentic 70s sneakers.

So I checked out Charlie’s Sneaker Pages to see what shoes were popular at that time. This is the coolest site ever for a sneaker enthusiast like myself; it has a timeline of sneakers so you can see when all of the popular styles debuted.

Now I’m on a hunt to find some Puma® brand Clyde or Basket shoes, or maybe some Adidas® brand Superstar or Gazelle shoes. Gosh, I love having a mission when I go shopping.

Time is time things time change time things. Do change times thing time changes times? Why change time to change things times? Things are so different when change times changes different changes change time. Friends are friends. Times are times. Time changes time friends time. Who am I to change time who changes time friends who I was? Time who balancing friendship time. Well, time times.

I’ve been doing a lot of shopping.

Fortunately I’m prepared this year. I noticed in the past that I always spend a lot of money on clothing in December because that’s when all the coolest clothing comes out, and I happen to be shopping anyway to get gifts. So this year I made sure to budget a whole lot of money for December shopping.

And boy am I glad! Just today I bought some Diesel shoes (which were expensive, but worth it), three shirts from Old Navy (for a total of $20), two t-shirts from the Gap (I had a gift card from my uncle), and a t-shirt and sweatshirt from Urban Outfitters. And yesterday I bought a jacket and some pants from Structure because I had a gift certificate there.

So yeah, December for me is all about shopping. I have huge piles of give-away clothing, too, since this is the month in which I donate a shitload of clothing to charity. (This, of course, makes me feel better about all the money I’m spending.)