From Michelle‘s journal:

“I’m reading 2 books right now… One tells me how to be a good person… and the other one tells me how to get what I want… :-\ Decisions decisions…”

Outlook Express thinks that the plural of weirdo is weirdoes, and it tried to correct me when I typed weirdos in an email this morning. But alas, Outlook Express was wrong, and I was right. According to Webster, the plural of weirdo is indeed weirdos. Oh, and I made up a rhyme to remind myself that I’m right: There’s no e before s, stupid Outlook Express.

At precisely 10:50am, I received this vague, cryptic, single-line email from a co-worker named Rachel:

For those in the front office…..11:30 🙂

What an eerie message. Is 11:30 the end of the world? Or is she pointing out that the front office is in a different time zone from the rest of the company, and it was 11:30 in the front office at 10:50 elsewhere? Is she staging a coup, and we must march together at 11:30? I’m thoroughly intrigued… and a little worried.

You know you’re unfocused at work when you catch yourself spinning around and around in your task chair for the cheap high of dizziness.

“So you like Barbra Streisand?” the creepy Michael’s employee asked, indicating my What Would Barbra Do? t-shirt.

“Eh, I don’t know. I just thought it was a funny shirt… She’s okay.”

“I saw a thing on Saturday Night Live about her. They said she’s auctioning off all her possessions… and selling them on eGay.”

I laughed awkwardly.

Apparently I did a lot of driving yesterday.

I drove from Costa Mesa to Santa Ana to Costa Mesa to San Juan Capistrano to another location in San Juan Capistrano to another location in San Juan Capistrano to Laguna Niguel to Dana Point to Costa Mesa to another location in Costa Mesa to Santa Ana to Orange to Anaheim to Westminster to Buena Park to Fullerton to Costa Mesa.

Dude.

A Christmas Story 40″ Leg Lamp, only $179.99 from Toys ‘R’ Us/Amazon.com.

You know you want one.

A man at Starbucks, discussing my car with his friends:

“Well, it’s got a hula girl, and it says U-H-L-L, so I bet it’s from the University of Hawaii. University of Hawaii… hono-Lu-Lu or something.”

It’s true, folks. I sold out.

This is Alex’s away message right now:

“how many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb? …. none. you let the fuckers cry in the dark”

And that, my friends, is just one of the many reasons why Alex is awesome.