This morning I had coffee, so I was hyper. As a result, I emailed my ex-girlfriends.

I emailed Emily to ask her what’s up and if she wants to hang out sometime next week. We usually go for coffee once every two years, and I think it’s about time. She’s really fun to sit and talk to because she has something interesting to say about every topic imaginable. She’s also an eloquent speaker, so it’s enjoyable just to listen to her speak. Actually, I asked if she wants to go thrift store shopping in Long Beach instead of just getting coffee. She always finds the coolest stuff. I’d love to get back into that. I mean, it makes sense to pay $5 for a real vintage t-shirt instead of $25 for a designer “vintage” t-shirt.

Then I emailed Lindsay to ask her why the heck she was in San Jose last weekend. I know she wasn’t visiting Traci, but I can’t imagine why else anyone would want to go to San Jose. It’s sad, because Lindsay totally missed her chance to hang out with me. I was going to stop in Santa Barbara on my way back from San Jose, but she wasn’t there. She was in San Jose. Stupid Lindsay. Now she’ll have to drive down to L.A. if she wants to hang out with me.

I also emailed Claire. I didn’t actually say anything in the email. I just sent her this graphic.

Traci supposedly works at the largest Barnes & Noble in California. She was supposed to take Amie and I there sometime while we were visiting her, but she didn’t, so I think she was lying. In fact, I bet she doesn’t even work at Barnes & Noble. I bet she actually works at Borders now but is ashamed to admit it.

Apparently my company doesn’t want anyone to feel left out on Valentine’s Day, so they gave every employee a little gift.

Actually, it’s kind of a big gift. They gave us each an overnight kit with our company logo on the front, and they attached a heart-shaped keychain which is imprinted, “From the bottom of our hearts.”

Inside the overnight kit, there’s a bag of “Utz” potato chips, a bag of M&Ms, a package of Twizzlers, a 3 Musketeers bar, a Hershey bar, a bag of “Swedish Fish” (which are like gummy… um… fish), a bag of “Choczels” (chocolate pretzels), a package of Oreos, a package of “Lorna Doone” shortbread cookies, a box of Hot Tamales, a pack of Life Savers (original five flavors), and a pack of Big Red.

It also had a Rice Krispie Treat, but that mysteriously disappeared in the last few minutes.

Dude, my keyboard is making funny noises when I type. Like, it sounds like a very quiet old fashioned cash register: “ker-ching, ker-ching, ker-ching.” I think what’s happening is that some of the springs (or maybe just one spring under a letter I type frequently) is getting worn out. That’s not nearly as cool as if it really were an old fashioned cash register, and were full of money.

Oh wait… I just realized why it’s making that noise. My computer’s microphone is turned on, and it’s picking up the sound of the keystrokes and amplifying it.

Stupid David.

I just saw a Coca-Cola commercial. At the bottom of the screen, I noticed this fine print: “Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola Classic, and the dynamic ribbon are registered trademarks of the Coca-Cola company.”

Apparently that logo on the can is officially called the “dynamic ribbon.” So Nike has a “swoosh” and Coca-Cola has a “dynamic ribbon.”

To stay in the game, I’ve decided that I’m designing my own corporate logo with a spiffy name. As such, I’ve come up with the “static floob.” I hope you enjoy it. And if you use it on your site, in your magazine, or on your television commercial, please mention that the “static floob” is a registered trademark of David Nestor.

I have dinner at Grandma’s house about once a week, but always on a different day, depending on my schedule.

So today I called Grandma and said, “Hello, I’d like to make a dinner reservation for one person on Friday night.”

She got all confused and thought I had the wrong number.

My mom called me and said, “I need to go to the Main Place Mall. That’s pretty close to you, so do you want to join me for lunch?”

And then before I could answer, she said, “Oh wait! I meant Cerritos Mall. Never mind.”

Apparently she called a whole bunch of Eddie Bauers to find a specific item, and then she momentarily forgot which one actually had the item.

So yeah… I got dissed by my mom.

I went into Starbucks on Brookhurst and Ellis last Wednesday, and I noticed three people with laptops using the T-Mobile HotSpot high-speed wireless internet service, which is now available at most Starbucks locations.

Well, far be it from me to let three whole people have newer technology than me, so I went ahead and bought an 802.11b card, and I’m going to sign up for T-Mobile HotSpot. Finally I’ll be able to get lots of work done without being trapped at home or in the office.

My friend Amanda has the greatest away message on right now:

“Sleep. Final tomorrow. NO MORE GOVERNMENT EVER!”

At first glance, it may seem like it’s about a class at school, but actually, she’s an apocalyptic anarchist.

The wind was really loud last night. It woke me up, so I checked weather.com, and it said that the wind was 25 mph out of the northeast, with gusts up to 45 mph.

Well, there’s some furniture in the side yard next to my apartment, and all night this furniture (which is not mine) was banging up against my bedroom wall because of the high speed gusts. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well, and when I did, I dreamt about furniture banging into my bedroom wall.

The damage from the wind was really apparent on the freeway today. Several of the exit signs on the side of the 73 had been destroyed by the wind. Generally these were two-post signs, and the wind had blown too strongly on the sign, thus dislodging one of the posts and consequently bending the sign.

The wind was still very strong this morning, and traveling down Fairview, I noticed that the street signs hanging from the signal poles were hanging horizontally instead of vertically.

What’s up with this wacky weather? First it was really cold (for Southern California), and then all of a sudden it got really hot, and now it’s extremely windy. I would like to remind the National Weather Service (which, we all know, creates the weather), that we in California pay a lot of money to have beautiful weather at all times, and we do not approve of these shenanigans.