I auditioned for Pirates of Penzance last Monday, and they asked me to learn two verses of “Modern Major-General” for the callbacks this coming Monday.

That’s fine and all, except that I really don’t want the part. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great part, but my friend T.J. is also called back for it, and he’s perfect for it. I really want him to get it, not me, and I’m sure he will. So it seems like kind of a waste of time for me to learn this ridiculously wordy song for the callbacks.

Oh well. I guess it’ll give me a little something extra to do for the auditors, so they’ll see more of me. And that’s always a good thing.

Ever since Winter Solstice, Claire has been making fun of Amie and me for wearing bowling shoes. We bought them at JCPenney for $20, and they say “Rental” on the side, which is the best part. We thought they were cool, but she just said they were ugly and stupid. So yeah, this week Claire apparently went and spent $42 on Kenneth Cole bowling shoes. Who’s stupid now?

Okay, let’s say you do two things:

1. You build a house.
2. You draw a picture of a dog.

And then let’s say people congratulate you on your beautiful picture of a dog. “Oh, you draw so well!” they say. Wouldn’t that upset you?

Yeah, so I’m onstage in A Chorus Line for the first five minutes. All I do is dance with everyone else and then I get cut. That’s it. Frankly, if you noticed me, you weren’t paying attention to the show.

Then I go offstage, change into all black, and become a member of stage crew. The bulk of my responsibility in this show is backstage. I’m responsible for presetting the mirror wagons before the show, collecting the hats used in “One,” setting the mirror wagons in the wings during intermission, pulling the rehearsal bags offstage when they disappear, moving one of the mirror wagons onstage in “Music and the Mirror,” striking the mirror wagons afterward so that no one trips on them, doing costume tech for “Bows,” singing into a backstage microphone for all of the chorus numbers, presetting for the next show after the audience is gone, and doing anything else that needs to be done backstage during, before, or after the show. Our stage manager is more of a mirror-turner than a stage manager, so I usually fulfill many of her duties. I problem-solve during the show.

So naturally, I really don’t take it seriously when people compliment me for doing such a “great job” as a cut dancer. Obviously they don’t know what I’m doing backstage, but frankly, I’d prefer if they didn’t even notice that I was in the show, because telling me I drew a pretty picture of a dog despite the fact that I also built a house is, well, insulting.

I’m expecting a big, fat refund from the IRS this year. However, I can’t file my return until I get my W-2 and 1099 forms. I’m ready to file my return now, but the forms won’t arrive for at least another week, and it’s frustrating. I want my money, dammit!

Instead of wearing dance shoes in A Chorus Line, the costumer has asked me to wear red sneakers. Of course, the show takes place around 1975, so they have to be authentic 70s sneakers.

So I checked out Charlie’s Sneaker Pages to see what shoes were popular at that time. This is the coolest site ever for a sneaker enthusiast like myself; it has a timeline of sneakers so you can see when all of the popular styles debuted.

Now I’m on a hunt to find some Puma® brand Clyde or Basket shoes, or maybe some Adidas® brand Superstar or Gazelle shoes. Gosh, I love having a mission when I go shopping.

The following is an excerpt from page eight of Beautiful Possibilities for Today: Daily Power Thoughts by Robert H. Schuller…

COME-ALIVE-POWER

A few weeks ago I had to spank my youngest child, Gretchen. She’s a darling girl, but she misbehaved and I had to punish her. She ran off to her room and closed the door behind her.

After a few minutes, I walked down the hall and listened at her door. Everything was quiet so I turned the doorknob ever so slowly and peeked my head through the opening. There was her small figure hidden beneath the blankets.

As I walked over to the bed I noticed her treasured toys were scattered across the bed and cuddled next to her was her dolly. I stroked her hair and held her tear-stained face in my hand as I whispered, “Gretchen, are you still awake?” She turned her head as she opened her eyes. Still hugging her dolly, I knew she wanted to hug her daddy.

“Gretchen,” I explained, “I gave you that spanking because I love you.” Her hands came out from under the covers, let go of the dolly, and reached up around my neck. As she put her slippery, wet cheek next to mine, I prayed, “Dear God, Thank you for Gretchen!” That tender moment was a time of special communication between us.

Jesus Christ is alive today and wants to communicate with you. He wants to love you, but you have to let go of your substitute. For a dolly is never a substitute for a daddy! Let Jesus Christ love you today!

I COME TO YOU, LORD,
BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND ME.
I ACCEPT YOUR LOVE. I FEEL YOUR PRESENCE.
I HAVE YOUR POWER WITHIN ME!

Time is time things time change time things. Do change times thing time changes times? Why change time to change things times? Things are so different when change times changes different changes change time. Friends are friends. Times are times. Time changes time friends time. Who am I to change time who changes time friends who I was? Time who balancing friendship time. Well, time times.

I’ve been doing a lot of shopping.

Fortunately I’m prepared this year. I noticed in the past that I always spend a lot of money on clothing in December because that’s when all the coolest clothing comes out, and I happen to be shopping anyway to get gifts. So this year I made sure to budget a whole lot of money for December shopping.

And boy am I glad! Just today I bought some Diesel shoes (which were expensive, but worth it), three shirts from Old Navy (for a total of $20), two t-shirts from the Gap (I had a gift card from my uncle), and a t-shirt and sweatshirt from Urban Outfitters. And yesterday I bought a jacket and some pants from Structure because I had a gift certificate there.

So yeah, December for me is all about shopping. I have huge piles of give-away clothing, too, since this is the month in which I donate a shitload of clothing to charity. (This, of course, makes me feel better about all the money I’m spending.)

When Dave agreed to handle getting cast gifts for the directors, I decided I’d better help him for fear that he’d get them all toy trucks (see my previous entry, entitled “Stupid Dave”).

I thought of the perfect idea, too. We’re going to have wooden plaques made. The brass plate on each plaque will say “Babes in Arms (2001) – Irvine Valley College,” and above it we’ll attach a brass kazoo.

Dave was planning to get a cake with trucks on it for Amie and Leonard’s birthday.

“Why trucks?” I asked.

“That’s the best that they had,” he replied.