It was like a cartoon was taking place in front of my halted car as I yielded to two octogenarian gentlemen with canes crossing comically slowly from the parking lot to the “Nifty After Fifty” fitness center.

Propaganda Remix Project ©2006 by Micah Ian Wright

Cars in Southern California have become so ubiquitous, when I see more than two adults in a car, I actually think to myself, “That’s odd.” It seems much more commonplace, if a group of adults is going from one place to another, for each couple or individual to take their/his/her own car. Sadly, I suppose that’s why traffic is so bad here.

Despite their high price tag and countless standard features, I’ve noticed that BMW vehicles don’t come with turn signals. I don’t even think it’s an option. With all that German engineering, it seems like they could figure out how to put a little blinking light on the back of the car that lets other drivers know when they’re about to be cut off. What a horrible oversight!

I’m sort of annoyed with Chevron and sort of not.

The first time I went into the ExtraMile (that’s the convenience store at Chevron gas stations) to buy a cup of coffee, they gave me a punch card. Buy six coffees, get the seventh free. So here we are, a month or two later, and I recently acquired my sixth punch.

I went into the ExtraMile tonight and poured my seventh cup, and I brought it up to the cashier with my fully-punched card. “We don’t take those,” he informed me.

“But I got the card here,” I pointed out. “You’ve punched most of these yourself.”

“Yeah, we punch them, but we don’t give the free one. Any other ExtraMile will though,” he claimed.

Thoroughly annoyed with this suspicious lack of full participation, I reluctantly handed over my Chevron gift card to pay. The cashier went through the motions, printed out my receipt, and then stood there looking at it for a while. The card was pre-authorized, but then it charged me $0.00 for no apparent reason (even though the gift card has well over fifty dollars left on it). I offered to try paying again, but he told me to just take the coffee and not to worry about it.

So although I’m annoyed with their questionable “participation” in their own loyalty program, I did come away with a free coffee after all was said and done. And on top of that, I still have my fully-punched card, which means I still get another free coffee… if I can find an ExtraMile that participates in the redemption part of the punch card.

I got a new car! It’s small, round, and blue, so I named it Stitch. Note the antenna ball.

Ash and I decided we’re going to try using zipcar. It’s an hourly (or daily, if you prefer) car rental service that’s way cheaper than the other car rental companies in the city, and you can reserve a car online or by phone and then unlock it immediately with your “zipcard.” And they have cars in parking garages all over the city, so it’s easy to find a car that’s within walking distance.

Now that I’m a member, if anyone else wants to join, I can give you $25 in zipcar bucks. Just use coupon code OIJRBOON when you apply.

We’re going to pick up a car tomorrow afternoon and drive along the coast of Long Island. And then we’re either going to Cheesecake Factory, Chili’s, or PF Chang’s. Hooray for California food!

For those of us without a car, the “Driving Directions” feature on MapQuest or Yahoo is ineffective. Thank goodness someone came up with HopStop, which lets you find subway/bus/walking directions.

Sure, now that I’ve left Southern California and don’t drive anymore, they came out with this. Since I’m not there anymore, I can’t have technolust for it, but I can vicariously lust for it through all of you who are still there.

It’s time for my 45,000 mile scheduled maintenance, which is basically an oil change.

When I bought my car from McKenna Volkswagen in Huntington Beach, I purchased a Scheduled Maintenance Package, which was supposed to cover all scheduled maintenance up to 65,000 miles. This cost several hundred dollars; it was not a free incentive or anything. I paid for it. In advance.

I called to schedule an appointment. I explained to Jon that I have a pre-paid Scheduled Maintenance Package, and I wanted to make sure the 45,000 mile scheduled maintenance was covered by it. He told me that “it doesn’t cover maintenance.” I gave up on Jon immediately.

I called again and spoke to Chip. I explained to Chip what had happened with Jon, and Chip said, “There’s no such thing as a Scheduled Maintenance Package. Do you have some kind of paperwork for this?”

I said, “Yes, it says Scheduled Maintenance Package. Four years. Service must be performed at McKenna Volkswagen.”

Chip responded, “Are you sure you bought it from us?” Needless to say, I gave up on Chip as well.

Now I’m going to have to bring all of my receipts with me to the dealership and prove to them that I paid for a Scheduled Maintenance Package from McKenna Volkswagen. This wouldn’t be quite so annoying except that I’ve done it three times already, at 30, 35, and 40,000 miles.

Yesterday morning, ants invaded my car. I counter-attacked with Pine-Scented Raid, and now my car smells like (no, not pine) Raid. So I left the windows open all day yesterday and all night last night, but I can still smell it. Every time I drive the car now, I get all woozy and my eyes water a whole lot.

I’m not sure how or why they did it. It seems like they had to climb up the tires, climb through the wheels and onto the axle, climb up through the drivetrain, and so forth. Remember, they’re ants. They can’t jump. They just crawl. That seems like a lot of effort, especially considering that there wasn’t anything remotely interesting (to an ant) inside the car. There wasn’t any food anywhere. There might have been an empty soda can in the trash, but the ants weren’t even near there. They were mostly on the inside of the door jams. Stupid ants.

My boss said that’s what I get for driving a “bug.”